Early Beginnings and Cultural Challenges
My life journey full of adversity and challenges have begun early, marked by a premature independence due to circumstances that compromised my free will. Around the age of 13-18, I have started contemplating moving out, securing a job, and taking care of myself. Despite having many friends, I have often felt like an outsider, possibly because I was raised differently from them.
As a practicing Muslim girl from a foreign country with a distinct cultural background, feeling like an outsider might have seemed inevitable. This cultural difference shaped my interactions and the way others perceived me.
This post is about how to become independent during your (spiritual) journey in life.
Mediator and Peacemaker
From a young age, I have had a gift of mediating between individuals and groups. One of my friend groups used to frequently argue, and I dislike the drama. Instead of participating, I mediated, encouraging harmony and providing reasons to stay friends.
This ability to mediate started early in life due to hatred for drama. I knew what to say and do, guided by my morals and a deep sense of love and understanding for my friends.
Family Dynamics and Emotional Struggles
In adulthood, I realize that my mediation skills likely stemmed from home life. I often feel misunderstood or maybe even unloved by one parent? Navigating puberty’s intense emotions alone was tough, as discussing such feelings was taboo in the household I grew up in.
From around my early teenage years, my social activities have been heavily restricted. My parents, particularly strict due to cultural reasons, have allowed no socializing outside school without a guardian.
This isolation heightened my appreciation for the limited time I had with friends at school, who understood and included me despite my restrictions.
Resentment and Cultural Restrictions
As I grew older, I might have resented my parents for their strictness, overprotectiveness and for treating me differently from my brother. I struggled with my cultural identity, feeling disconnected from my background and influenced more by my school friends.
Despite these challenges, I remain strong, relying on my faith in Allah (SWT). My intellectual curiosity and love for learning kept me engaged. I spend my time reading, watching educational content, and honing my social skills, becoming a go-to person for help at school.
Separation and Self-Reliance
Around my teenage years, I got separated from my family, which made life harder. I felt isolated, my grades went downhill, and I eventually withdrew from people.
Yet, deep down, I just remain resilient. Moving out marked a forever turning point in my life. Now I can take back control of my life, paying my own bills, managing budget, and excelling in school. Doing it all independent with the sole belief in Allah the Almighty.
If you find yourself in similar situations, please allow yourself some slack, and just get up! Try take one step at a time, and have faith that Allah will guide you. Even when it seems that there is no light in the end of the tunnel, there will always be ease in the end, just know this and keep striving.
The Role of Faith in Overcoming Challenges
Throughout my journey, my faith in Allah remain a cornerstone. I observe that my friends faced milder challenges compared to mine, leading me to reflect on the strength Allah provided me. I realize that Allah tests His servants to bring them closer to Him and elevate their status based on how they handle these tests. I elevate and my status is now raised, with all odds against me.
Rely on Allah and accept His tests. Matter of fact, express gratitude to Him for even putting you through your hardships. He is there, seeing everything which is the unseen, and hearing it all, even the words that has not yet been uttered. Trust in Allah and rely 100% on Him, and Him alone.
Standing Up for Your Faith
In my early adulthood, I will face multiple challenges, adversity, significant test of my faith. one which my landlords, an older couple, insist on celebrating my 18th birthday with alcohol involved, which is haram (prohibited) in Islam. Despite their pressure, I stood firm, which will not only lead to a quick move to a better apartment, but also remaining my dignity and pleasing Allah. An experience similar to this will reinforce my belief that standing up for my faith would always bring rewards from Allah.
Understanding Free Will and Allah’s Wisdom
Through these experiences, I learn that nothing happens without Allah’s knowledge. He knows your actions and destinies, but He also gave you free will.
Your choices determine your path in this life and the afterlife. Tests and challenges are opportunities for growth and purification, helping you become closer to Allah.
4 Ways Allah Tests His Servant to Bring Him Back
Allah is so merciful that He will forgive a Muslim, even if his sins are as big as the foam in the oceans. We are never left alone unless we completely turn our backs on Allah even in those moments, He is there still.
But when we stray away from Him, even after Allah guides you to come back to Him, something terrible happens. This is a catastrophe that every Muslim must avoid as best as we can.
I can say that I have been tested in ways where Allah wanted me to return back to Him. There is this khutbah by Belal Assad where he discusses this matter in a masjid (mosque). It opened my eyes widely making me realize every point in life where Allah called me back to Him. Perhaps you can gain some sort of understanding through this speech.
I have written down this khutbah for you, but you can also watch the full part on YouTube. Here’s the link: 4 Ways Allah Tests His Servant to Bring Him Back. Read the transcribed version by clicking here.
Conclusion
The stories I share about my life experiences are only small parts of it. If I were to write it down in detail through my website in one article, it would soon turn into a book. God willing, one day, I might be given an opportunity to write a book about everything that happened throughout this short lived lifespan.
For now, I stick with writing and storytelling through Islamic wisdom and general knowledge.
Leading by experiences like mine is very rewarding to me, because I can help someone else in a similar situation, or motivate another to never give up, or by improving someone else´s understanding of life.
Suggested reading: Understanding the Human Compulsion for Negativity and the Journey to Self-Fulfillment
