Pregnancy is one of the most profound experiences a woman can have—it’s a time filled with joy, anticipation, and a deep connection to the little life growing inside. Yet, it’s also a time of self-doubt, worry, and a rollercoaster of emotions, especially when you are expecting your second child.
You already have a tiny thunderstorm running around, and you wonder, “Will I have enough energy? Will I ever get time for myself?” The added responsibility can feel overwhelming, but through it all, there is a constant: the feeling of immense gratitude and joy for the life growing within. The journey may be difficult, but it’s also one of the most beautiful paths we walk as mothers.
For me, the second pregnancy came with a twist I had never expected: the COVID-19 pandemic. When I got the news that I was pregnant with my second child, the world was in chaos. Fear was everywhere, and uncertainty was at its peak.
I was excited, but fear and stress quickly overshadowed my joy. The hospitals were overrun with patients, flights were canceled, and the world seemed to be standing still. How would I navigate this pregnancy in such unpredictable times?
The Weight of the World and My Pregnancy
I was living in Pakistan at the time, and my first-born had been born in Italy. I had always trusted the healthcare system there, so I wanted my second child to be born in Italy too. But with international travel suspended and fear looming over hospitals, I found myself in a difficult situation. Every day was filled with a new challenge—whether it was managing my health, caring for my toddler, or just trying to get through the day with my anxiety levels peaking.
The nausea hit hard, followed by the mood swings, fatigue, and the endless questions. Would travel ever resume? Would I be able to fly back to Italy before giving birth? As flights slowly resumed in June, I booked the earliest ticket I could get with my toddler in tow. Traveling during the pandemic was terrifying. What if I tested positive for COVID right before the flight? What if I contracted the virus during the journey? Alhamdulillah, everything went smoothly. I arrived safely in Italy, but the stress of those months lingered.
The Struggles of a Pandemic Pregnancy
The stress of this pregnancy took a toll on my health. I developed gestational diabetes and high blood pressure, which led to my delivery being scheduled earlier than expected. I also had to face the reality of giving birth in a pandemic-stricken world, where the hospital rules were stricter than ever. In Italy, as I had already experienced, the culture around childbirth is different. Family members aren’t allowed to stay overnight with the patient, and during COVID, no one was allowed to visit at all. The loneliness hit me hard.
The emotional toll of postpartum depression was crushing. I remember crying like a child, feeling so alone despite the nurses being there 24/7. No one can truly replace the comfort of family, especially your mother, when you need her the most. Yet, through those tears, I realized something profound: I was no longer just a daughter—I was a mother now. I had to be strong for my children. They needed me, and that gave me the courage to face everything with hope and strength.
Craving Comfort: Lessons from a Hospital Bed
I had experienced cultural differences during my first pregnancy too, but this time it was even more apparent. In my first pregnancy, my mother would bring home-cooked meals every day to the hospital because I didn’t like the hospital’s vegetarian food.
I longed for a good cup of tea and a hearty, meaty meal. But in COVID times, I couldn’t have that privilege. The hospital meals were bland, and sometimes it felt like a joke. Is this really a meal? I would think as I looked down at a salad and a stale roll of bread.
But, slowly, I learned to be grateful for whatever I had. There were women in much worse situations who didn’t even have access to a hospital meal. I missed my mother’s tea, and I still remember the day she sent a thermos of tea with my clothes. That cup of tea felt like a blessing straight from heaven. It wasn’t just tea; it was comfort, love, and home all wrapped up in a thermos.
I realized how often we take these small things for granted. That simple cup of tea taught me the value of gratitude. Even the smallest blessings are immense when we no longer have them. From that moment, I learned that when we go to visit new moms, we should always bring some home-cooked food or their favorite snack. It makes a world of difference.
The Physical Challenges of C-Section Recovery
If you’ve been through a C-section, you know how difficult recovery can be. It’s not just the surgery; it’s the post-surgery struggle of getting in and out of bed without any help. During my first pregnancy, my mother was there to support me, but this time I had to rely on myself. That hospital bed had a special handle above it, and I used it to pull myself up—15 minutes of adjusting and finding the right angle just to sit up. And as soon as I got comfortable, my baby would cry, and I had to do it all over again to hold him.
My hospital bed with an overhead handle that helped me lift myself after my C-section
It was tough—one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. But it taught me resilience. Time teaches you everything, and this experience taught me that I am stronger than I ever thought possible. I healed faster this time, despite the challenges. It was hard at first, but once I started moving, I realized that getting up and walking as soon as possible helped me recover more quickly.
In our culture, new mothers are pampered with a lot of help, and they often aren’t expected to move much after childbirth. However, I’ve learned that movement is essential for healing. What is often seen as a privilege—being treated like a queen after giving birth—can actually hold new mothers back from a faster recovery. Every challenge comes with its own lesson.
The Power of Motherhood
Despite the pain and the struggles, when they placed my baby in my arms, everything else melted away. It’s like a magical, supernatural force takes over, filling you with energy and courage you didn’t know you had. Suddenly, nothing else matters but your baby, and you’re ready to face whatever comes next
If there’s one thing I’ve learned from this journey, it’s that motherhood is powerful. You may feel overwhelmed, exhausted, and scared, but there’s always strength within you—strength that Allah has given you. After all, it’s said that paradise lies under the feet of mothers, and there’s no greater honor than that.
Words of Advice for Expecting Moms in the West
For those of you who are pregnant and living in the West, I want to share a few things I’ve learned. Although the pandemic may be over, the hospital rules remain strict, and the journey can still feel isolating. But remember, you are never truly alone. Allah is always with you, giving you strength that you may not even realize you have.
- Pack Comforts from Home: Bring things that remind you of home—whether it’s your favorite snacks, a cozy blanket, or a thermos of tea. Small comforts can make a huge difference.
- Communicate Your Preferences: From the beginning of your pregnancy, make sure to communicate your preference for a female doctor if that is important to you. Many healthcare providers can accommodate such requests if informed early. However, if circumstances don’t allow for this, trust that Allah’s wisdom is guiding you.
- Be Active After Delivery: Even though it feels tough, try to get moving as soon as you can after a C-section. It will speed up your recovery and make you feel stronger.
- Reach Out for Help: Don’t hesitate to ask for help when you need it. Whether it’s from a nurse, a loved one, or a professional, support is vital, especially in those first few days. In the West, many hospitals provide access to lactation consultants who specialize in helping new mothers with breastfeeding. If you find yourself struggling, always seek their help. They can offer guidance on techniques, positioning, and provide much-needed reassurance. Don’t be afraid to ask for support—it can make a world of difference in your breastfeeding journey.
- Remember the Power of Prayers: Always pray to Allah and listen to Quranic ayat on your phone. Before going to the operation theater, I prayed, which brought me peace and strength.
- Stay Positive: Focus on the end goal—holding your healthy, happy baby in your arms. Everything else, all the pain and struggles, will fade in comparison.
The Joy of Going Home
I still remember the day I was discharged from the hospital. The nurses were surprised to see the girl who had cried so much now packing her own bags and even applying makeup. When one of them asked if I needed help, I smiled and said, “No, I’m too excited to go home!”
Alhamdulillah, going home was the happiest moment. Finally, I could be in my mother’s arms, where I could rest and be pampered. That moment felt like I had accomplished something great—not just for myself, but for my children and my family. I had survived a pandemic pregnancy, learned countless lessons, and come out stronger than ever before.
To all the mothers and mothers-to-be, know that you are stronger than you realize. Your courage and faith are unmatched, and with them, you will overcome any obstacles that come your way. Embrace each challenge with hope, knowing that you are nurturing not just a precious life, but also your own inner strength.
May Allah bless you with ease, health, and joy as you embark on this incredible journey. Your strength and perseverance are truly inspiring, and with faith as your guide, you will achieve everything you set out to do.
In the end, this journey taught me one thing: No matter how tough life gets, Allah gives us the strength to face it. As mothers, we are stronger than we think, and every challenge brings us closer to understanding just how powerful we truly are.
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