When something isn’t yours, do you still go after it? Is there a dream you keep pursuing, even though you have been given signs from Allah that it isn’t meant for you?
Let me tell you how to tell if something is not for you and how to let go, and find your passions that you can profit off of. This post is about how to know if something is not meant for you. Look from within you and recognize your inner strength.
I know it might come off as contradicting when I first say you can look for a sign and then switch up to the fact that you can also listen to your calm intuition.
But it all hangs well together. Bear with me and read the entire article to get a full understanding. Only by reading the article in full will you truly understand what I am conveying.
1. Recognizing Intuition: Listen Within
First, that sign comes from within you. I can only try to guide you through my own experience on how to tell if something is not meant for you and what to look for to understand better which decision is best for you.
Every human being has a subconscious and intuitions. Your intuition is a calm “voice” from within you that will help you make decisions in your life, small or big.
Your intuition will either lead you to fulfill your path or the other way around. You can recognize the voice within you by taking a moment in the situation you´re at. Stop for a second, whatever you’re doing, and listen to yourself. Don’t rush this process.
By listening to the inner voice, you will better understand what really means something to you. Let’s say you’re into writing, just like I am, and you’re thinking of starting your own website.
If you want to write and publish your first work, the find your “why”. Why do you want to succeed in writing, what can you contribute with in the world? Is your writing going to benefit someone else besides you?
2. Stop looking for a sign, instead listen to your inner self
As you do your research of finding the “why”, how do you feel deep down? Is it a nervous feeling with a sense of fear? Or is it a feeling of motivation leading to success? You can determine these feelings by listening to the voice within you. By voice, I don’t mean an actual voice, but rather a whisper of calmness through a sense of feeling—be it joy, fear, calmness, nervous etc.
To understand your “why” and who you are, these emotions must be understood. The kicker is that I can’t teach you how to be or help you find who you are. This is a job meant for you to figure out. A therapist can guide you through this process.
Once you get the hang of your own emotions, it will get easier to make decisions based on your intuition—because your intuitions are right most of the time. Especially when you have done the hard work on yourself—you get a better sense of what you want in life, who you are and why you want to pursue whatever it is you´re passionate about.
Maybe blogging wasn’t for you anyway. Maybe you’re meant to be doing something even greater! Perhaps writing a novel or a romance book? By understanding who you are, you WILL be led to the path of your dreams.
Whatever is meant for you will come to you, and if something didn’t go your way, then it wasn’t meant for you to begin with.
Perhaps you went through many different industries before finally finding your true “calling”. Looking for signs is not a bad thing: it only means that you have hopes for a better outcome.
However, obsessing about signs given by Allah can lead you to a difficult place of distress and lots of time wasted. Those signs will come naturally when you least expect them, and sometimes they’ll show up right on your doorstep.
3. How to know if Allah is giving you a sign or not
As Muslims, we can change our destiny (Qadar) through supplication (Du’a). This means that by raising our hands and asking Allah for anything you desire, we have a chance of changing our destiny.
Allah answers our Du’a in multiple ways. It is up to us to follow the signs (if there are any) which sometimes are given. There are different supplications that provides signs to be read by you.
Duá is not always one of these, but you can still receive signs of why you didn´t receive what you asked for. I will only focus on supplication through Duá on this article.
I have had multiple Du’a answered right away. It’s incredible and I am always left in awe when I realize it. It doesn’t mean that Allah has given me everything I’ve asked for.
Sometimes the answer lies in why I didn’t get what I asked for. Allah has shown me on several occasions that what I asked for wasn’t for me and why it wasn’t for me.
4. How to stop caring so much
Understanding the human mind is a difficult process. When you get through all that mess and the hurdles, you will soon realize that all the hard work was worth it, it payed off.
Life becomes more peaceful and you stop caring too much about what others think of you. You become more confident and grow mentally.
Set some time aside for yourself where you give yourself six months or a full year to focus on you. I know you might think that six months to a year is a lot to sacrifice, but don’t forget that you are devoting your time to YOU. You are worth investing in, so do yourself that favor!
I remember when I decided to finally give myself time to focus 100% on myself, both the good and the bad. I wanted to grow and become better. So I gave myself a challenge where I would pay close attention to anything I reacted strongly to. I realized how much work I needed because I cared.
I thought all these years that I didn’t care and was being nonchalant—what a lie I told myself. I care so much sometimes that it hurts. When I figured out that I needed to focus more on what truly matters rather than taking matters too personally, that’s when I truly understood how little impact people were going to have in my life.
This discovery happened not a long time ago, but still, I notice myself every now and then caring too much. I can’t seem to “get rid” of this side as I know myself and understand that I am the type of friend that cares a lot (until I don’t).
That balance is not needed because I get that I might be in tune with my feelings more than my average peers, which is totally fine. There’s nothing wrong with it as long as I am in control of those strong feelings, which really aren’t that bad after all. They are there for a reason and as long as I know what that reason is, there is truly no issue.
5. Make yourself your top priority
You are your own master in your own life that you have built yourself, no matter if mommy or daddy has given you everything in life. (That was a mouthful!) It had to be said though. Even if you let someone else dictate or give you everything in your life without lifting a finger—you made that choice. You decided it.
There are no excuses unless you are being held captive. Seriously, breaking free is a choice. A tough and difficult choice, but it has to be made by you. Allah gave you free will. A slave in modern society is a slave to himself. Serve yourself in the best way possible because you deserve it! Think about it—you have the whole earth to explore, how small are we and how big is your potential?
Before taking the leap though, don’t forget to strategize along the journey. Some people prefer to plan ahead and others, like me, strategize along the journey.
I gather the information I need to pursue my passion, then I take the leap, and lastly – I learn from those mistakes along the journey. This strategy is simple and it has taken me to places in life. I have been married at 21-22, lived abroad in the United States, met amazing people in my journey and overall had the best time of my life that I am so grateful for.
Pretty awesome, right? Well, you can figure out how this works for you too, by first taking a stand on what you believe is meant for you. You can have it by understanding who you are, being rational and a little bit delusional, and through your emotions.
This ride of understanding who you are is long and will probably never end, but the more you focus on yourself, the more you grow and learn from past failures.
6. good people win in the end
On each side of accomplishments lies the victory of who you used to be—that victory forms the present you, which usually is a better version of you. The greater the failure, the better your outcome is.
Good people get what they deserve just like bad people. Being good and genuine will lead you to great places—it might not seem like it right away, but it is the truth. It pays off in the present and the future.
It is a no-brainer that you will become stronger through all your failures. I have come across people who literally told me, “you don’t get anywhere by being a good person in this life”. If you ask me, that is just a loser mentality. A mentality where they think being good is a weakness.
It’s the same people who are cynical about anything they stumble across in life just because they think this world is filled with only bad stuff. But that is because their mindset is wired to think and look for the bad and not the good.
Disclaimer: being good doesn’t mean you’re dumb. It means you are a healthy person with boundaries and with a strong heart that knows how to handle all your emotions and understand all your morals with your values all put together. (A mouthful again!) Being good is the complete opposite of being dumb or naive. Knowing the differences is essential.
If you like this post and find it helpful, share on your socials or with a friend that might benefit from it.
X, Nas
