You know that feeling when you’re growing up and everyone around you subtly reminds you that, after marriage, it’s all about home and family? Well, coming from a South Asian background, I felt that deeply.
Even though women are just as educated and capable as men, the expectations still lean toward us managing the house, kids, and everything in between. I couldn’t help but think, “Wait, why did I spend years studying if it’s all going to end in diaper changes and dinner menus?”
So, like many others, I paused my career after marriage and threw myself into being the perfect wife and mom. And don’t get me wrong, I loved it—but there was always this tiny voice in the back of my mind asking, “Is that all?”. I realized that education isn’t just about a career; it’s about self-growth and raising a smart, well-rounded family. Still, I couldn’t shake that feeling.
Once I made it through pregnancy and those wild toddler years, I began to wonder if I could have the best of both worlds. Could I be present for my kids and still find something fulfilling for myself?
The idea of remote work popped up—a way to balance both without missing a tantrum or nap time emergency. But honestly, I doubted myself. I had been out of the game for a while and didn’t even know where to begin.
Embracing Flexibility
So, when I finally made up my mind to step back into the career world, I knew it had to be on my terms. After all, with one foot in Europe and the other back home (and a brain trying to keep up with the time zones), stability was not my strong suit! The best option for me? Flexible work hours.
I needed something that could work around my kids’ unpredictable routines, and let’s be honest, the fact that I sometimes have no idea which country I’ll be in next month! Flexibility became my lifeline—helping me balance family life while still keeping my own dreams alive.
Tips for Finding Remote Work
- Determine Your Needs
Before diving into the job search, take a moment to really assess your needs. What kind of work suits your lifestyle? Do you need part-time hours so you can manage the chaos of school drop-offs and pickups? Or maybe you’d prefer freelance projects that allow you to work during nap time or late-night marathons (when you’re wide awake but the house is blissfully quiet).
Think about your financial situation and time availability. Finding a job that aligns with your life—not the other way around—is key to making remote work a success.
- Prepare a Workspace
This one took me some time! I realized early on that working from the kitchen table wasn’t going to cut it (too many snack distractions). Setting up a dedicated workspace, no matter how small, was a game changer.
It made me feel professional and ready to work—plus, it showed potential employers I wasn’t just dabbling. A well-organized space doesn’t just boost productivity; it’s a little corner of calm amid the family whirlwind, and trust me, you’ll need it!
- Use the Right Resources
I can’t stress this enough—stick to trustworthy job platforms. There are so many remote work scams out there, and we moms don’t have time to waste on false leads! Look for platforms that verify their listings, like FlexJobs, Fiverr, Upwork, Clickworker, and Appen, where freelance and independent contractor opportunities are regularly posted.
These platforms ensure you’re applying for legitimate positions, whether you’re looking for short-term gigs or more flexible, long-term roles. Finding credible jobs is half the battle, and you want to make sure your effort is going toward roles that are real, flexible, and a great fit for your skills.
- Network and Seek Recommendations
When I first started looking for remote work, I felt like I was in it alone. But then I learned the magic of networking. Joining professional groups online, attending virtual meetups, and even reaching out to fellow moms who were already doing remote work opened up so many doors. Sometimes, a simple conversation can lead to a job lead you hadn’t even considered.
Don’t be shy—ask for recommendations and referrals. You never know where your next opportunity will come from!
Effective Routine Management
After you land the perfect remote job that fits your lifestyle, the next big challenge is figuring out how to manage it all. Trust me, it’s not as easy or relaxing as being a “free bird.” Every task comes with its own set of deadlines, submissions, and the need for full dedication.
And let’s face it—no career flourishes without effort. There’s a saying, “Whatever you do, do it with enthusiasm!” because, honestly, there’s no shortcut to success.
I know firsthand how tough it is to juggle everything—those sleepless nights when the kids are sick, while your work deadlines are looming, and even your so-called “flexible” hours feel tight because the kids want your attention 24/7.
Suddenly, you’re not just a mom—you’re the chef, the teacher, the cleaner, the mediator, and the employee with a ticking clock.
Oh, and let’s not forget, you’re also the wife—because somehow, in all of this, the husband still needs love and attention too! 😅 For some great advice on balancing your marriage while managing it all, check out this guide on intimacy and marriage for Muslim women.
So, dear mamas, this is where your time management skills really get tested. Here are a few tips to keep you on track:
- Create a Realistic Routine: Use tools like planners or digital calendars to block out time for work, family, and personal care. Prioritize tasks that need immediate attention, and stay flexible for unexpected situations like a sick child.
- Set Clear Boundaries: Establish specific work hours that align with your family’s routine, and communicate those to your family. Let the kids know when it’s “mom’s work time” and when it’s “family time.”
- Delegate When Possible: Don’t hesitate to share responsibilities with your spouse or older kids. Running a household is a team effort! And, remember, it’s okay to ask for help.
- Take Breaks to Recharge: Taking short breaks, like a quick prayer or a cup of tea, can rejuvenate your mind and keep you focused. Self-care is crucial for your well-being and productivity.
From an Islamic perspective, this balancing act can also be seen as an act of worship. Striving to provide for your family while nurturing them with care and affection aligns with the teachings of Islam. Remember, the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said, “The best of you are those who are best to their families.” Balancing work and family are part of this responsibility.
Even on tough days, seek solace in dua (supplication), and remember that Allah rewards sincere efforts, even the unseen struggles. Trust that your efforts at home and work are valued by both your family and your Creator.
Work-Life Balance in the Western Context
Balancing work and family life in Western countries often comes with a range of supports and services designed to ease the juggling act for working parents. Here’s how these can help you maintain a sense of equilibrium:
Maternity and Paternity Leave: Time to Breathe
One of the biggest advantages of living in Western countries is the supportive maternity and paternity leave policies.
These provisions are designed to give parents time to focus on their families during some of life’s most precious moments.
- Maternity Leave: In many Western countries, maternity leave can extend for several months, with a significant portion of your salary still covered. This allows new mothers to recover and bond with their babies without feeling the financial strain of lost income.
- Paternity Leave: Fathers are not left behind. With paternity leave, dads can also be present during those important early stages. Shared parental leave is a wonderful option, offering families the ability to divide the time in a way that suits their unique needs.
- Government Incentives & Bonuses: in many Western countries, new moms benefit from various government incentives designed to ease financial pressures. These may include child benefits, tax credits, and even one-time bonuses. These financial supports aim to help families manage the costs of parenting, enabling a more balanced approach to work and family life. For the latest information on government support available in your country, it’s essential to check local resources and official government websites to ensure you’re receiving all eligible benefits.
Quality Daycare Options: A Helping Hand for Working Parents
As you dive back into your career or continue working remotely, ensuring your little one is well cared for is crucial. In the West, high-quality daycare centers can give you that peace of mind, letting you concentrate on your work without worry.
But if your remote work needs you glued to your screen and you can’t always tend to your baby, don’t hesitate to explore these reliable daycare options. They can provide the support you need, making it easier to balance work and family life.
- Safe and Regulated: Daycare centers are subject to stringent regulations, ensuring that your child is cared for in a secure and nurturing environment. With these safety standards in place, you can confidently tackle your work commitments.
- Holistic Development: Many daycare programs are designed to stimulate early childhood development through activities that promote social, emotional, and cognitive growth. While you’re focusing on work, your child is thriving in a structured, enriching setting.
- Flexible Hours: One of the key benefits of daycare services in the West is the flexibility they offer. Whether you work early mornings or late afternoons, many facilities offer schedules that adapt to your needs, making the work-life balance a little more attainable.
Striving for Balance: The Journey Continues
Achieving work-life balance, especially as a Muslim mom, is a deeply personal journey. While the idea of perfect balance may seem elusive, the policies and support available in Western countries offer a solid foundation to create a lifestyle that works for you and your family.
The key is to stay flexible, embrace the help available, and remain committed to your priorities—both at home and in your professional life.
You Are Capable of Achieving Balance
Balancing work and family life as a Muslim mom in the West is no small task, but with the right mindset and support systems, it’s absolutely achievable.
By leveraging the tools available—from flexible working arrangements to quality daycare and government incentives—you can create a fulfilling life that honors both your career and your family commitments.
Take the steps outlined here, stay dedicated to your goals, and remember that your path to balance is uniquely yours. Trust in Allah’s plan and ask for His guidance in every step you take each decision you make, whether in your work or at home, is a step toward building a life that is both meaningful and rewarding.
You’ve got this, and your strength will shine through in both your professional and personal endeavors.
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