I have lost most of my photos from around this time, but found once worth sharing from around this era. Fun fact: I wore a fake Gucci bag I got at a market that I had no idea was a fake Gucci, but as you can see (mid bottom), it was very obvious it was a bad replica.
I’ve been on Instagram since 2011. I still remember the day I posted my first selfie using my mom’s iPhone. I had to use her phone because my dad was super strict and wouldn’t let me have a smartphone. So, I would sneak onto my mom’s phone whenever I could to log into Instagram and post.
Back then, I would take selfies directly from the app, use those built-in filters, and share them. At the time, Instagram was still new, and no one around me was really on it—everyone was still using Facebook. I had a couple of hundred followers, and I’d get some likes here and there. But since I wasn’t allowed to have a smartphone, I eventually lost track of the account and stopped posting.
My dad had this habit of hiding my phone, which was an old iPhone 3GS he gave me (honestly, what kind of psychological torture is that?). I would hunt it down, find it, and post on Instagram. But after a while, I got tired of the game, so I gave up on my Instagram “career” before it even really started.
Yeah, looking back, I get that my dad was probably just trying to protect me from the dangers of the internet. At the time, it felt super restrictive, but now I can see that he was just concerned about what this whole new world of social media could bring. The internet was still evolving, and I’m sure he was trying to shield me from some of the things that come with it, even if it felt frustrating back then.
Since then, my relationship with social media has been toxic. When I first get active, I’m super creative and post every day. But the moment I start getting traction, I self-sabotage and stop engaging with anyone online. I think this stems from childhood traumas—most of which I’ve worked through, but when it comes to social media, I still can’t seem to stay active for long periods of time.
I have lost most of my photos from around this time, but found once worth sharing from around this era.
My “Prime Time” on Social Media
During my last year of 10th grade, right before I started high school, I gained a pretty big following. Everyone in my area knew I was always posting. I had a great sense of style and a lot of confidence—this confidence came after puberty hit, and suddenly I looked different in a good way. My face changed overnight, and I went from awkward to, well, gorgeous! I was my own biggest fan, and I loved the glow-up.
At that time, I was only 14 and still learning how to enhance my natural beauty with a bit of makeup (shoutout to all those makeup tutorials I watched as a 9-year-old!). I stopped over-plucking my eyebrows and started embracing my natural look. I felt beautiful, and that gave me a lot of confidence.
This selfie was taken in 2013 around the time I started to embrace my natural look and let my eyebrows grow. I just discovered lash extensions and started to post more frequent again after I was gone from the platform when I first got the app in 2011-12.
I’ve always had this desire to grow and improve. My childhood forced me to grow up quickly, so when I started seeing myself as more of a young adult, it felt… right. I wasn’t a kid anymore, and I liked it. I’m also addicted to learning—always seeking knowledge, even when it hurts. I’ve gotten into trouble for being too curious, but it’s just part of who I am.
On social media, my confidence showed. People in my local area would even tag each other in my Instagram comments. The engagement was insane, but I didn´t quite understand it at the time. Some were kind, but others were just straight-up hateful. I had these thick brows—like I said, I embraced my natural beauty. And yes, I had a unibrow! But I liked how I looked. From the outside, I was confident, and on the inside, I was still a work in progress.
There was this one girl at my new high school in a completely different city (I love a good challenge!) who was especially mean. She would leave nasty comments on my Instagram posts, sometimes tagging her friends just to make fun of me. The funny thing is, I didn’t even know who she was at the time. I later found out she was just another hater, but I never let her get to me. I was too busy working on myself to care. Sure, her comments were there, but they meant nothing to me because I had bigger things to focus on.
During this time, I was gaining tons of followers and engagement. It was wild! Brands even reached out, and I reached out to a few myself—looking for some free clothes, of course. I got a few products, posted some photos, but honestly, I didn’t care that much. My personal life was chaotic, so while it looked like I was constantly on Instagram, I was really just using it as a distraction. It was fun for a while, but it never became something I truly loved.
My friends used to joke whenever I hit milestones on Instagram, and I’d get a little embarrassed, but it was funny. My older brother’s friends would even tag him in my posts to try to “expose” me. I didn’t get it—like, why were people acting so weird about it? I just kept doing my thing, posting what I wanted. Even when my dad tried to stop me by hiding my phone, I always found a way to keep posting. I’ve always believed in doing what makes me happy, and social media was just another outlet for me.
But let me tell you, there were a lot of people who were weirdly bothered by my confidence. I was doing my thing, and somehow, that rubbed people the wrong way. There’s this quote I love: “A person beneath you will hate on you, but someone who isn’t will never.” So, I guess these people felt like I was above them. I’ll take that as a compliment! Looking back, I know I was killing it, even when life was tough.
I just turned 14 here and loved this photo, but never posted it anywhere from what I can recall
Brand deals and overnight fame
Eventually, I stopped posting for a while. When I moved to Oslo in 2017, though, I got more active again—documenting my life and whatnot. But one day, I just deleted all my content (that’s a story for another time). I have this energy that draws people in, and I love seeing others succeed, become more creative, and chase their dreams. That’s just who I am.
It’s wild how some of the most hateful people seem to despise you for no real reason. I’ve always found it kind of fascinating—and honestly, a bit impressive—how someone can harbor so much negativity towards someone they don’t even know. It baffles me how they can invest so much energy into hate without understanding who you really are.
When I moved to Oslo, I remember going on a hunt for an African salon. I found one run by this elegant woman in the city center. She asked if I wanted to collaborate—she’d do my hair for free, and I´d get paid, if I started a lifestyle blog. It was tempting, but I was going through a tough time with one of my exes, and I wasn’t in the right headspace for blogging. So, I politely declined.
A few months later, I broke up with that ex, and honestly, I was just done with the hate I’d gotten over the years. I started valuing my private life more than anything on social media.
A lot of people—friends, family, even acquaintances—have told me I should pursue social media more seriously. They’ve seen what I can do and think I could make something out of it. I still get these comments even till this day. But I can’t commit to something I don’t love 100%. It would feel dishonest to profit from it when my heart’s not fully in it.
In the beginning, Instagram was my little secret—no one in my town knew about it, and it felt freeing. But as I gained followers, the hate started rolling in, and that love I had for it just faded away. I don’t blame anyone, though. I made the choice to step away for my own mental health.
Looking back, I can see how my energy was polarizing. People either loved me or hated me. And honestly? I’m fine with that! But if you’re gonna hate, at least do it from a distance. I’ve had so many fake accounts sending me nasty comments—it’s ridiculous! Just remember, nothing on the internet is truly anonymous. You might think you’re hiding behind a fake name, but it’s not that hard to trace back to you. So, if you’re out here being a troll, be careful.
At the end of the day, I’m all about growth, learning, and protecting my peace. If you’ve got nothing good to contribute, please just stay in your lane. And for those of you who still can’t help but hate, maybe grab a copy of my future eBook. You might learn something about what you actually admire in me.
Kisses and hugs!
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